How did you choose the adoptive parents for your child?
AMANDA
So when I was going through the process of adoption, I had went to a counselor who helped me looked at different couples and it was kind of like an agency where you could go through different profiles. At the same time actually, the baby’s father, his mom, was working with a woman whose niece was wanting to adopt. Her and her husband couldn’t have children and so they decided to go through adoption. So it was kind of through this organic connection really that we ended up meeting and before we met they had sent me a letter and it was just all about who they were and it really showed their personality and it showed what their interests were and just the kind of people that they were.
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I think I did have set ideas what I wanted. I think my option would have been raising the baby as a single mom and for me that wasn’t ideal. I wanted a married couple who held the same faith as me because I was raised with a really strong faith background so that was quite important and also just people who are going to be able to provide a stable home. So I was looking for someone who was well educated and had good jobs that were really just well-suited to raise children and have a family. Those things were probably the main components that I was looking for in adoptive parents.
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LEAH OUTTEN
I had a list ready to go of what I wanted. Basically, I envisioned what I wanted to be for her and how I wanted my family in the future to look. I wanted things like a husband, maybe mid-30s, having stable jobs, and maybe even having another child to see how they parented. It was actually was pretty important to me for them to have another child, whether biologically or through adoption, to see how they parent and discipline and their relationship. I wanted them to be Christian like I was. » Show more I don’t remember what their profile said. I remember their picture and when I saw their pictures, it reminded me of my family. They had the long brown hair like mine, we had the same kind of dog, and they were the same age as my Dad because he was a young dad. They were in their mid-30s, reminded me of my own family, and what I wanted for my child in the future. I remember their pictures and having that feeling, just like when you’re finding your soul mate that you know that they’re the one and you just have that confidence, that peace. » Show less
MAKENA LEIGH PORTER
So when you’re picking an adoptive couple at 16 years old, you have no idea what you want. You kind of reflect on yourself. There were thousands of profile I could have gone through and I only went through 60. First, I went based on religion, I want them to have something in their life that was supporting them. I wanted them to have a pet, cause if they can take care of a pet, they can take care of a kid. And I wanted them to already have a child with them, biological or already placed with them cause I wanted my kid to have a sibling. » Show more » Show less
So I wanted my birth son to be far enough away but close enough away because of this open adoption and they live 5 ½ hours away so they’re not my next door neighbors and I don’t—I’m not bothering them all the time. We both have our space but we both have enough contact that it’s perfect for us. We’re basically family and so our house is their house and their house is my house. So I get to go down and I love the area there. They’re in Utah. It’s beautiful and it’s the perfect place for my birth son to grow up with.
BAILEY CORRELL
When I started looking, I guess as a typical grad student, I like my list, I like organization. So I started by making a list of “If I could raise her the perfect way, what would that entail? What would that be?” So I started with the typical, like I said, financially stable. Two parents, a family that love her. A safe community. A good education. Opportunity for college or whatever else she might want to do. And worked my way down to even the smaller things like, obviously money to go to gymnastics or ballet like little girls tend to do, you know [no audio] .
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HEIDI RUSSO
In choosing the adoptive parents, there were very specific things I was looking for. I obviously wanted it to be a married couple. I wanted them hopefully have other children or want other children so that Colin would have brothers or sisters. Then I wanted them to be a Christian family but it didn’t matter to me what religion they were. I wanted them to be an athletic family. I came from a very athletic family, sports were a big part of my upbringing and in knowing who I was and who Colin’s biological father is, I knew he would be an athletic kid. So that was important for me. Financial stability obviously was important to me and strong sense of family.
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KELSEY QUESENBERRY
There wasn’t really anything specific that we were looking for. It wasn’t like they have to have this and this and we check it off our list and if they don’t have one thing we weren’t going to pick them. We just wanted people who were familiar and who would kind of parent like we would if we were able to. Mike and Amanda just felt like people we could be friends with and that was really important to us. The only thing we are looking for is to have a relationship with these people beyond Henry. I feel like I could be friends with Mike and Amanda even without the adoption. They don’t have the exact same ideals as us and that’s fine, that’s not what I was looking for.
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Since I have a lot of experience with kids I felt like I was more laid-back and that’s the kind of vibe that they gave to me. They weren’t going to be super strict and that was kind of important to us. Zach always felt like he’s always kind of like push, you have to go to College, you have to do this, this, this and this. We didn’t want people who seems like that. We just wanted someone more laid back and free spirited.
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JANEL BROWN
My mother worked with the adoptive parent’s best friend. So they had introduced my mom with the adoptive parents prior to me or my mom knowing of my pregnancy. Knowing that they were looking to adopt and they have tried for so long to adopt, within 3 seconds of telling my mom that I was pregnant, I told her to call them. The biggest characteristic for me with them was that they were married and happy. A mother and a father there to raise a child. They lived in the same area as I did and just knowing that they wanted a child so badly was very important. There were no other characteristics. I did have another family in California that my stepdad’s cousins knew and they sent a picture with a dear birthmother letter and quickly I turned them down because the family that I had chosen was already a perfect fit for me.